Kinky sex is a bit like using random spices on food. The result will certainly be interesting, but you can never be certain in what way. Fact is we all have different pleasures and turn-ons, things that we would very much like to experience in bed.

It's perfectly natural to wish to go beyond the average sex movements and to let go of your inhibitions in order to enhance the pleasure we're getting out of one of the most intimate acts in our lives. The only problem is that your partner may be into becoming uninhibited, but not in your particular way.

Still, most times the only problem is the fact that she or he hasn't tried your particular brand of kinky sex and is unsure of how it feels like. This makes it your duty to introduce the other to kinky pleasures in a gentle manner and to accept her or his pleasures in your turn.

Every person is very attached to his or her fantasies and pleasures and would like nothing better than to have the significant other share them, which is why a common fantasy is to surprise your lover with a fetish or a role playing experience and to discover that your lover is crazy about it. However, this fantasy is just that: a fantasy. If you really wish to make your dreams come true don't spring anything on anyone.

Fantasies come in all shapes, sizes and numbers. Unless you're turned on by three dancing midgets and a singing goat, you're not that special. But don't expect your partner to know this. She or he will be surprised enough to learn that you have a fetish or a fantasy. The secret of a good approach is to discuss it first. And don't expect to get everything over with in a single conversation on the topic; your lover may need convincing.

Take the time to talk your lover into this and you might be surprised with the results. We all have things that we'd like to try in bed, not to mention a sense of adventure. Stimulate it and you'll find that even a prudish person is willing to go along with some unusual ideas.

With a little encouragement and by handing full control to your partner, you can get anybody interested in kinky sex. Using the right combination of description and convincing you could talk your lady into spanking, using sex toys or handcuffs, anal sex, role play or whatever comes to your mind. Just don't force anybody into anything.

It's far better for you to slowly work the partner up to wanting a spanking now and then or to fantasize about dressing up and playing the master and the maid or the teacher and pupil. This way you'll be both interested in the fetish and sex will be all the more pleasant. Wouldn't you like your lover to ASK for anal sex?

Try to make everything sound fun and talk your partner slowly into this. If you're going for role playing, let the lady choose her own clothes; better still, shop together. Dressing up as a tasteless maid is not on any woman's wish list. If you're far more experienced at using sex toys than your lover, take the time to explain their function and all the pleasures that are in store for those open-minded enough to use them.

Be careful about it, some men get defensive when they have to share their partner with a big plastic penis. This is actually the basic rule of successful kinky sex: always be mindful of the other and heavenly pleasure will follow.